Month: April 2017

I recently read a book called Calling Me Home. A thirty-something, black hairdresser, Dorrie,  is driving one of her most loyal clients turned friend, Isabelle, from Texas to Ohio for a funeral. She’s a spunky 89-year-old woman with a story to tell. Along the way, Isabelle reveals she was once in love with a black man when it was not just uncommon but deadly for both of them, and shares her life story with Dorrie. It was a wonderfully insightful book and a heartbreaking love story.

While I was reading in the backyard, my six-year-old asked me what my book was about. When I told her, her exact words were: “well, daddy is black” (he’s not) “do people not like that you’re with him?” Thus led us to a conversation about how far we’ve come in America (and all over the world) and how much further we still have to go. And my realization that I cannot merely teach my children to be “colorblind” because there is no such thing.

1. Because I believe in Christ. This is the number one reason Black Lives Matter, and why I will make sure my children know. I believe in God, and I believe that Christ rose from the dead after dying for you and me. “You” being whoever is reading this; never mind the color of your skin. He didn’t give his love freely to others, but withhold it from you. He didn’t make some work hard for His love because of the color of their family while giving it on a silver platter only to those with ivory skin. We cannot praise Moses for saying “LET MY PEOPLE GO!” only to continue not to support the black community trying to be freed from stereotypes and oppression.
2. Because no one should fear walking down the street in their own neighborhood. In Calling Me Home, the small town Isabelle lives in has a sign at the city limits that says anyone of color in town, after dark, basically has a death wish. They could work for them during the day but needed to be gone by nightfall. This broke my heart. Schools teach you about Martin Luther King and all of his peaceful protesting, about sit-ins, and Rosa Parks but they never get into the nitty-gritty of the before, let alone the after. There are censors over the truth, over anything REAL. To protect the children from the scary realities. What about the children that lived through it and their kids, and their kids, kids? How can we tell them everyone is equal when the very people who are raising them know that it’s not because they’ve lived it? And what about when they witness first hand that it’s not? The fear or the disdain they were taught becomes justified and usually before they’re even old enough to understand! How do we continue to preach the absolute success of movements from more than half a century ago when there are people, people, still living out what we claim is fixed? I will not teach this part of history to my children with a sense of finality. I will teach it only with an open end.
3. Because equality does not look the same. Unless The Giver becomes a reality (Lord help us all), there will not ever be a day people are “color blind.” We SEE IN COLOR, but in doing so, we should not assume one color is better than the other. A child knows their friend is lighter or darker compared to their skin, they just don’t pay it any mind because it doesn’t matter to them. They’re children with no agenda other than play. I will teach my kids a pound of apples and a pound of oranges are equal but not the same. Society tells children to embrace their uniqueness but does not always practice what they preach.
4. Because Black people are not dead. I am not a sympathizer. Black people are not dead and gone. This is not a funeral where you hand out cards of sympathy and condolences. They need support. Whether it be standing in a picket line, being the first in your family to openly admit and agree that Black Lives Matter, or teaching your children the truth and not the watered down, textbook version of Civil Rights. The BLM movement is not a group of people claiming race superiority; they’re a group of individuals seeking support not just from within their own race, but outside of it as well.

Support for Black Lives Matter stands for real equality. Stands for real change. And stands for real information. The real question should be why the majority of us are not supporting our future? If your only thought after reading this goes to the BLM extremists, please consider whether or not Westboro Baptist, too, represents all Christian beliefs.

So, I just launched the Facebook page for Schoolin’ Reyes and to mark this awesomeness I’ve got a giveaway going on!

Hayden has become super interested in early America. We’re gearing up to do some more in-depth studying on the subject. A friend of mine is a homeschool author, who, a few years ago wrote a book that takes place in 1774: A Different Kind of Courage. It’s historical fiction, so while some of the characters aren’t real, others are! It’s neat to travel back in time and imagine what it was like. I read this book on my own a couple of years ago and couldn’t put it down! Now we’re going to read it as a family to help satisfy Hayden’s interest in the colonial times and you can too!

Sarah is an author, homeschool alumna, and a blogger over at The Destiny of One. Here’s a little bit from her:

“Hi! My name is Sarah Holman. I’m a twenty-six-year-old homeschool graduate and full time author. When I am not writing, I love hanging out with my family, taking long walks, and playing piano.”

So, if you haven’t already, head over to facebook.com/schoolinreyes and comment on this post for your chance to win A Different Kind of Courage and check Sarah out on Amazon.com to have a look at all of her books!

This post has been so hard to write. Not because I don’t love Emma, because HELLLOO, she’s a doll. But because she’s so tiny, and we don’t actually have any goals or requirements. I could say we require he to sleep through the night, but she’s not exactly a rule follower. I mean, we want her to continue to grow(but, not too big. Mama can’t handle it!)… so, there’s one!

Meet my current obsession, Emma Faye. Named after her great, great grandma Maniccia and her great grandma (Nana) Maniccia. This adorable, squishy baby makes my heart melt every day. She’s been the ultimate adventure for our family; introducing us to new things since the day she was born. Both exciting and scary.

Emma’s birth was a sigh of relief. After the loss of Benjamin and the scary ride that was, I was a little worried about having another baby. Pair that with the fact that I didn’t instantly become pregnant again and you have the perfect storm for mama-worry. Emma is more than three years younger than Ryder; making that the largest gap in age between all of our children. (Yes, I’m very much aware that we DO NOT struggle with infertility and I am grateful for that.)

The other kids were “easy”. If we even thought the word pregnant- we were. Emma was a process. I prayed for her. Over, and over again. It was the perfect opportunity for me to practice putting all of my trust in God; to remember that I must trust God’s will and timing. Whether it’s what I hope for or not. Those two years were hard for me.

I had a lot of blood pressure issues during pregnancy, and it ultimately led to an afternoon doctor’s visit turning into an induction! That was the first of many surprises Emma gave us during her first few weeks of life. In fact, she gave us a lot of firsts. She was the first:

• of my daughters to have a baby shower (it was pink and perfect because my friends rock!)
• to be born after midnight
• to have jaundice that required hospitalization
• to have Umbilical Granuloma
• to have an umbilical hernia

She was a beautiful mess from the day she was born but we couldn’t love her more. I thought loving Ryder was a whole new experience, but I had no idea what was in store. The first few months I just couldn’t put her down! Now she’s totally attached, and unless she’s wrapped on my back I can’t get anything done. This would have made me crazy a few years ago, but I love it.

Emma is six months old today, and I’m still trying to figure out where HALF A YEAR has gone! We love her so much and are incredibly proud to be her parents. Since I don’t have much else to say, here’s some picture of the cute baby!

A couple months back I saw a pin on Pinterest with an outdoor loom. I thought it was the coolest thing ever. Okay, maybe not ever, but I reeeeally liked it and my mind began to tick off all the awesome ways it would be amazing for our homeschool. If you’re not familiar with what this is, don’t feel left out. I wasn’t either. An outdoor loom is used the same as, well, an indoor loom. Only, instead of just yarn or other cloth materials, you use things found outside. Sticks, long grass, pretty flowers, and whatever else you can find. We also use scrap yarn and fabric (we’ve totally caught the birds stealing some) from my stash. You end up with a pretty piece of outdoor art that has SO many benefits for little hands.

So a few weeks ago I decided while scanning Pinterest on a Saturday morning it was time for us to build one. Once upon a time, there was a swing in our backyard. It’s long gone now but the wooden frame is still there. Score one for this mama on a mission. It’s also in an “A” shape. Score two. My mind instantly saw a play hut! I wrapped the wire around all sides for a couple of passes. I used wire because we have no plans of cutting down our final product, and we want it to be sturdy, but for something less permanent or easy to cut, yarn would work fine. Once I got to about the kid’s height I stopped wrapping around one of the short sides and then continued almost all the way down the other sides. I left a gap at the bottom so we can easily mow and weed-eat around the whole thing to prevent snakes (eek!) from hiding in the kids hide-a-way. Check out our Instagram for more photos!

1. Fine Motor Skills: With a house full of small children I’m constantly searching for ways to work their fine motor muscles, and weaving is a wonderful way to do so. They have to work whatever medium they’re using in and out of the wire, and that requires skill. Reaching in, pinching the grass between their fingers, and the simple act of weaving the items in and out of the wire all do just that.
2. Hand-Eye Coordination: Did you think only sports did this? Nope. Weaving is great for hand-eye coordination, too! You can’t always ensure whatever you’re weaving is going to go over and under exactly where you intend. That’s where hand-eye coordination comes in. See? (Pun totally intended) While a good game of catch works so does weaving.
3. Patience: A loom doesn’t fill overnight. It takes time. Lots of time. When we first put it up Hayden said, “I’m going to fill up the sides right now so we can have walls!” After weaving for a good hour he realized it was going to take much longer than he first thought. Not only does it take time to fill the loom, it takes time to weave. If you’re too forceful the twig could snap, or the grass could tear. Gentle patience. It’s a slow process.
4. Relaxing: Weaving will relax you. No lie. The kids get quiet from their need to focus, and it becomes a silent activity. The repetition is calming, and once you get into a “groove” your mind can wander. Pair that with the sweet sounds of nature and it’s bliss. I enjoy the loom, for this reason, the most.
5. History Lessons: Weaving is dated back to more than 25,000 years ago. (SAY WHAT?!) Since then we know it’s been used all over the world. It’s a wonderful skill to have that was once basic knowledge, and in some countries still is. There’s always a new lesson to learn every time we weave! The Industrial Revolution put weaving “out of style” like so many other things, but who’s to say we may not need the skill one day in the future?

If none of these reasons make you want to build a loom in your yard, there’s always the fact that they’re pretty!

Oh, my sweet Ryder. You would think the more children you have, the less of an exciting experience it would be. That, as you get to your fourth or fifth child, it would just be another day. Another walk in the same old park. But, it’s not. With each child looms the possibility of there not being another baby. Ever. For some, this may be a joyful idea. For mamas in large families who enjoy continuing to carry (maybe not this part so much), and eventually hold new, tiny babies (YAS) this is sad. Ryder was the first child I felt that. He was the first time after pregnancy Herman said, “You better love that baby, ’cause we’re not having anymore.” (LOL, LOL, LOL) So I held him tighter. I held him longer; even though I knew, Herman probably didn’t mean what he said. I let him be a baby even at times when, with the others, I probably wouldn’t have. After Ryder, I got pregnant again. I went into labor at about 20 weeks, but they weren’t able to stop it. I think losing Benjamin put into perspective how joyful experiencing every single moment of the first years really are.

Ryder and I still have a special “thing.” I don’t really know what to call it. Saying “bond” sounds extra cheesy with a side of parm. I expected a certain level of independence out of the other kids by the age of three that I just don’t from Ryder. I still see him as a toddler. Which he is. (We’ve come full circle to that whole live, and learn parenting thing I talked about in Introducing Us Part Three) Babies just don’t keep, and it’s more noticeable with each child.

Meet Ryder. He’s a ball of energy dipped in sugar; the sugar makes the energy sweet. He loves his momma (and I love him more). He’s a smart boy who loves to work with his hands, bake cookies, and crack eggs at breakfast… lunch… and dinner. The kitchen is his favorite place to be, with outside in the dirt a close second. He takes two to three showers a day, and Y’all, they’re needed before he’s allowed to crawl in my bed at night. Yeah, that’s right. MY bed, and when he’s not there I MISS HIM! What kind of sorcery is this? I love him more than my heart can handle.

Ryder is wild. There’s no denying it, and if you know my family, personally you probably were thinking it. One of the first times Daddy ever spanked him, he looked him directly in the eyes and said, “that not hurt.” Yup. Trouble with a capital “T.” You know those kids in public places that you say, “Goodness. That mom needs to control that child.” THAT IS RYDER! THAT’S HIM! Sorry for yelling. Seriously, I feel their pain now, and I’m so sorry for my Judgy McJudgerson glances.

We’re learning more every day about our sweet boy. How he ticks, what he’s about to do next (mostly so we can stop it), and what works for him so we can give him the best learning experience possible. People always use the phrase “terrible twos” to describe two-year-olds. My theory is that those people have never had the opportunity, or forgot what it’s like to parent a three-year-old. For real, yall. At two, they’re just curious. They want to know more about everything, and it’s an innocent kind of curiosity that can be confused with misbehavior…. a lot. At two there’s no real understanding of right or wrong. But, three? Oh, boy. This is the “I’m gonna see just how far I can take this before you step in” age. It doesn’t last. They turn four, a switch flips and (for a while) you get your baby back. He’s almost there, and I’m ready. His adventurous spirit is enough to make a conquistador question where we’re going.

While there’s not much to say on schooling for Ryder, we do have certain expectations for him. These are the things that are part of being in our family, as well as the list of what we expect out of each age. (I talk more about this in Introducing Us Part Three).

Here’s a sample of what we look for in a child Ryders age:

1. Knowledge of basic colors (so not colors like turquoise or beige)
2. Ability to count to ten
3. Sort shapes, colors, and animal groups. Farm animals, water animals, etc..
4. Ability to follow simple directions
5. Simple household chores like emptying bathroom trash, sorting or folding laundry, washing cabinets, cleaning and putting away clutter, and other small tasks
6. Easy kitchen tasks like cutting fruits and vegetables, setting the table and cracking eggs

A lot of what is learned for his age repeats with some variety and increasing difficulty for the next few years. Life skills are the majority of what we focus on. The constant need to “keep up” hits me often, but I resist. Ryder’s favorite book is right now is “Love You Forever.” While I think it’s kinda creepy, (don’t lie, you know you do too.. That lady gets a ladder and crawls in his second story window at night!) it’s just another nightly reminder that babies don’t keep. “That little boy grew. He grew, and he grew, and he grew.”