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Today I Was A Bad Mom

Today, I was a bad mom. I made the kids stop painting and clean up their rooms. I made them clean up the water on the floor they tracked in after playing in the water hose. I made them wait to use the microscope until I was done nursing the baby so I could better supervise the use of an expensive and fragile piece of equipment.

Today, I was a bad mom.

Days like this are the worst. They break you down and beat you up. It’s not so much the task of actually doing these things; it’s the huffs and puffs in reply to a request, and then screams and yells when your requests have to turn into demands. “Can you please clean up the water you tracked in, so we don’t slip?” “You have to clean up the water before moving on to something else!”

Today, I was a bad mom.

I require the kids to shut the door every time they go in and out. Bad mom. The three-year-old couldn’t find his underwear, and lost them. Bad mom. I asked the oldest to chew with his mouth closed. Bad mom. Some days, these simple things aren’t noticeable. They’re just part of everyday living, no one gets mad, and the day goes on. But some days, when sleep wasn’t peaceful, moods are sour, and the day is filled with less than fun school work or chores I’m a bad mom.

Homeschooling is hard on good days. Heck, parenting is hard on good days.  It’s all worth it, though. Do you remember why you chose this life? Cling to that. It’s what gets us through the bad days. The days when it’s easy to forget. The days your kids call you “the ultimate party-pooper.” Yup, my eight-year-old called me that earlier. It’s what I’m doing today, and what I have to do many days. Because I’m a bad mom.

today i was 1 (1)

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