Months ago, someone asked my husband when I’d be going back to work to “help” him. Wouldn’t it be “nice if he didn’t have to work so many hours,” or “bring in our families income alone?” And of course, “so, you’re not going to put your kids back in school… at all?” At first, I felt offended and it kind of surprised me someone outside of our home honestly thought their judgment on how we raise our family was acceptable to speak on.
Everyone has an opinion about how you should raise your children or run your household. It’s up to you to decide whether you allow their opinion to affect your decisions.
His response was that we didn’t chose to homeschool our kids to save money on after-school care, or keep the kids out of daycare. That it was a life-decision for us, and that we had no plans on sending the kids to public school. That he did sometimes work long hours, but that it was worth it. <insert heart eyes here.>
My husbands response still makes me so proud. When we first started homeschooling he was on board, but skeptical. He wasn’t sure that homeschool was the right choice for our family, but willing to try. He grew up in the small town we live in, and was concerned that our kids would “miss out” on all the things he participated in. It was never a question of education, because he felt lacking in that aspect upon graduation. I’m happy to say that now he doesn’t just understand, but believes homeschooling is right for us.
Facing skepticism can be hard. Especially if it comes from family or friends. When we face inquisitive relatives or pessimistic friends, we have the power to choose how we will react and what we take away from the conversation.
The fact is, there’s a high likelihood you will not change their opinion. Unless you homeschool, keep your home, or raise your family exactly how they feel it should be done, they’re not going to be convinced, and that’s okay. It’s not their family. It’s yours.
When you’re faced with unsolicited opinions or questions:
- Don’t allow their opinions to sway yours. If you’re homeschooling, it’s because you spent countless hours pouring into all there is to know about keeping your kids home. Remember your truths, and your “why.”
- It’s not your job to educate everyone. It’s your job to teach your children, maybe someone else’s kids at a co-op… possibly a Sunday school class, but it’s not your job to convince someone that will never, not once, take part in your journey.
- Remember that God chose you to be their parent. Not uncle Bob or cousin Kate. Not your siblings, mother-in-law, or sister-in-law. You.
Truthfully, there are a hundred more memes and posts on facing adversary than the number of times you will actually face it. I think most are surprised by the support they actually receive. Questioning someones lifestyle is a bold move most will avoid. Obviously, judgment and adversary will exist. Family, friends, and strangers will probably judge what you do, because that’s what humans do. Whether or not you try your hardest to be nonjudgmental. <– Preaching to myself there.
But what’s that saying? “What’s said about you, not to you, isn’t your business.”