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Today I Was A Bad Mom

Today, I was a bad mom. I made the kids stop painting and clean up their rooms. I made them clean up the water on the floor they tracked in after playing in the water hose. I made them wait to use the microscope until I was done nursing the baby so I could better supervise the use of an expensive and fragile piece of equipment.

Today, I was a bad mom.

Days like this are the worst. They break you down and beat you up. It’s not so much the task of actually doing these things; it’s the huffs and puffs in reply to a request, and then screams and yells when your requests have to turn into demands. “Can you please clean up the water you tracked in, so we don’t slip?” “You have to clean up the water before moving on to something else!”

Today, I was a bad mom.

I require the kids to shut the door every time they go in and out. Bad mom. The three-year-old couldn’t find his underwear, and lost them. Bad mom. I asked the oldest to chew with his mouth closed. Bad mom. Some days, these simple things aren’t noticeable. They’re just part of everyday living, no one gets mad, and the day goes on. But some days, when sleep wasn’t peaceful, moods are sour, and the day is filled with less than fun school work or chores I’m a bad mom.

Homeschooling is hard on good days. Heck, parenting is hard on good days.  It’s all worth it, though. Do you remember why you chose this life? Cling to that. It’s what gets us through the bad days. The days when it’s easy to forget. The days your kids call you “the ultimate party-pooper.” Yup, my eight-year-old called me that earlier. It’s what I’m doing today, and what I have to do many days. Because I’m a bad mom.

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Where It All Began

I’m so glad you’re here! Sharing our story, and our daily life has been on my heart for a while. Our house is messy, small, and LOUD. I know there has to be someone out there experiencing real life like us and I want to be your friend.  Solidarity, Sister!

We live in central Texas in a tiny town on 50 acres. I moved here from Austin with my family in my last two years of high school. My husband was born here, and never wanted to leave- so here we are enjoying the quiet of our small town.

Our homeschool journey started pretty abruptly. I was intrigued by the idea of homeschooling when I became friends with a wonderful woman in our church. I began praying for answers while also trying to get my husband just as interested as I was. Hayden, our oldest, was going on his second year in school. It was an everyday struggle to get him out the door. Kicking, screaming, and, fighting. Every. Morning. Y’all. My mild-mannered, smart boy was worn out and fed up with school only two years in.

This particular morning he and Ella (our six-year-old who was attending Pre-K) missed the bus… again. My husband was loading them in his single cab truck to get them to town before they were late. As I watched him drive away with a screaming Hayden and a wide-eyed Ella, I thought, surely, there must be a better way.

The Lord heard me. Herman reversed up the driveway, and a bleeding Hayden jumped out of the truck. In an attempt to prevent Hayden from jumping ship (you read that right; he was gonna jump out of the truck!), Herman somehow ended up elbowing him in the nose. That was it. We were done. That was the last time they loaded into a vehicle to beat the bell.

A heartbroken daddy cleaned up his boy and apologized. As Herman was rushing out the door, I informed him I was going to pull the kids from school that day. He trusts my decisions, but at that point, he still wasn’t sure. It didn’t take long for him to come to the conclusion that every family has their own rhythm, and this was ours.

Fast forward to today: we’re still here; killin’ it!

Homeschooling is an adventure I never imagined I would be living, let alone loving. We have good days, and bad. It’s all part of the balance The Lord gives to our lives. If I had to choose one thing I want our children to remember from our homeschooling experience it would be the love and grace God has given and continues to provide, to our family as we walk through each day of learning. We never know what the next day will hold, but The Lord is our guide.

“When times are good, be happy; but when times are bad, consider this: God has made the one as well as the other. Therefore, no one can discover anything about their future.”                            Ecclesiastes 7:14